I Will. I Am.

Naughty Naughty Me

2011-10-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

Argh, I'm so terrible.
I start something and never seem to finish it.
Take this blog and journey for example.
I start out with all the right points and purposes and after a few times the lust dies. I lose interest. Well not really , I didn't lose interest in blogging per say. I just felt I couldn't write anything smart and witty. You read so many other blogs that are smart, funny, witty and a joy to read. Then I look at mine and thing "Blergh" WTF am I doing?! I try and remind myself that many of these other bloggers have been doing this for along time. Or they actually have experience writing. Mine just seems like a vomit of words. Letters of indiscriminate means spewing forth from my mouth, well from the ends of my fingers is more correct.

So other than that I'm angry at myself. Here I was feeling good because since last time I weighted myself I *thought* I had lost 10 kgs. But infact I gained 10 kgs since starting this and now lost all of that. So I feel the last few months I have gone 6 billion steps nowhere. It's only been 3 months, but I am just so annoyed at myself.

Also looking through my dashboard I realise I have some 9 (yes 9 drafts) there. It makes me feel even more inadequate as a blogger. I have these interesting ideas and they go nowhere. I get stuck on ideas to write. Or I just don't write (type).

I am going to crawl into a pit of despair unfortunately I don't have any chocolate, high fat and or high sugar foods because I ditched them all so I will have to sulk instead.

ETA: After my sulking and some contemplation I'm feeling somewhat better. Not fixed but better. In all due fairness I've had a fairly bum run recently.Not making excuses but acknowledging a few issues I've been having or dealing with.

1 My allergies have been playing up and so have been itchy as all hell. I'm red and itchy all over my torso and therefore fairly miserable. I haven't been taking any antihistamine (*smacks self in head*) so I've been getting tired and cranky from lack of decent sleep, I kept waking up and scratching. But I got myself some more meds and should be better ASAP.

2 I've had a really big hormonal shift recently, I'm wondering if this is due to my body changing as I get older also my body changing from having babies to had babies. I know Maia was born sometime ago but it can take years after for your body to adjust back. I think this is the final adjustment. I feel a lot calmer and not as emotional like before. I'm not really sure on this is it is pure speculation and to make me feel better about my crappy hormones.

3 There are a few external factors so I'm going to put them all together in one area. The owners of our rental have recently had the kitchen ceiling redone so I had no kitchen for almost 2 weeks. I was looking after my nephew and niece for what seemed like an eternity (just like having 2 very badly behaved sets of twins). The weather can't make up it's mind if it is summer, winter, or something in between. One day it's nice and sunny the next it's pissing down with rain.

There are a few other things I'm contemplating and sorting through in my head. Things like I feel like I'm defined by my children. I'm not the confidant young woman anymore, pre kids. I'm almost 28 and I feel ancient, well not quite ancient but really really old.

I could probably keep adding random crap, so I shall leave it here. Must go attend to a sulking sick 4 year old in bed now.

BTW I'm trying not to delude myself here but having looked in the mirror recently and having worn certain clothes recently I wonder if some of my weight gain actually had to do with rebuilding muscle. As I said I'm trying not to delude myself, just trying to stay a touch positive and looking at all the possibilities :)

Measurements

2011-05-14T06:03:00.000-07:00

Well finally I can get in and do my measurements. It took me long enough to work up the courage to do it and the blogs were down. Well here goes, it's not as bad as it 'was' but it isn't good either.

Weight : 124kg
Height : 179cm
BMI : 38.7
Bust : 126cm
Waist : 120cm
Hips : 125cm
R Thigh : 63cm (20cm from knee)
L Thigh : 61cm (20cm from knee)

Do I need anymore measurements anywhere else?

It's depressing looking at the numbers. This is what I need to aim for. It isn't specific but anything on or below puts me in a healthy BMI, weight or waist measurement.

Weight : 80kg
BMI : 25
Waist : >80cm

That reminds me I should take some pics........

Maybe another day :)

It's Not ALL Fatty Fat Fat

2011-05-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

Ok thought I'd add another dimension because lets face it weight isn't the only part of my life that needs addressing! Obviously the husband and children stay though.

SO introducing you to the Day Zero Project. Obviously my (imaginary) number 1 on the list is to actually complete the list. But once it is done it will be a way of measuring my success in other areas. Of course I've added in my weight lose as a goal. I'm thinking of adding a few other goals in there too. I already have a 5km run and pilates, I have even included pole dancing :)

There are some academic things too like study at uni, another language (obviously Chinese) and read some amazing books. Hopefully that will keep my wayward mind at bay as well as prove to be challenging along with thought provoking.

So my list is 33 and filling. There are somethings I'd love to do but won't get to due to the 1001 day limit. So they are my 'someday' list. Things like visit France, see the Northern Lights, drive across the US of A and the Wall of China. The only travel I have included for the 1001 days is to go to another state and drive across the Nullabor.

So my Chloe dear are you going to do a list too?
Here is mine ;) http://dayzeroproject.com/user/ironbutterfly

Chloe Chloe Chloe

2011-05-07T00:36:00.000-07:00

Ahh, my darling.

Ok this blog was started at the beginning of the year. Due to me being a lazy ass nothing was ever really posted in here. Well there was 4 posts but I decided to delete them. They were crappy, lame and half hearted.

This blog is going to be for you my darling Chloe, so you can see what I'm doing. Also so I can keep a record of what I'm doing and that it is really going away, the fat that is.

So I'll have to work out what measurements I need/want and update them weekly

-weight
-height (not that I'm going to become a dwarf)
-BMI?
-waist
-hip/bum
-thighs
-arms?

Should I update daily on what I've done? Like a food and exercise diary?

Well this is up to me (with your help) to lose my pudgy tummy and cuddly bits.

TIA
oxox